Welcome to The Panicked Creative, where I share all the trickery I use to stay inspired and freakout-free. Glad you’re here!
When I write, I always listen to music. The same stuff, over and over. It’s comforting. Keeps me calm. I cannot tell you how often I write with one hand in my pocket, and the other flickin’ a cigarette!
When I’m not writing, I struggle to find new things to listen to. And new things are creative input, as we all know. Like my fave Gary Gulman says in his incredible series of 365 comedy tips:
“Look for inspiration everywhere. Paintings, music, poetry, rap, novels, nonfiction, short stories, theater, philosophy etc. can all provide a spark for creativity. Cross-pollinate your work with broad influences and watch your creativity grow.”
I used to have help. At Hallmark, I had Kevin, a deeply brilliant, kind, and up-on-stuff artist who burned CDs for me and left them on my chair. Among others, he introduced me to Cat Power, Vampire Weekend, D’Angelo. Not to mention a little band called Radiohead. Who, I’m ashamed to say, I had ignored for decades. I can’t reason why. I’m a creep? I’m a weirdo? I don’t belong here?
Now, Kevin-less and on my own, I’m overwhelmed. Spotify and its endless choices boggle me. Plus, I’m more of a mood sponge than I used to be. I want my music—and thereby my life—mellow but happy. I only allow myself Radiohead as a special treat on those dreary days when I already hate everyone. Bliss!
I had a small breakthrough not long ago when I asked my Insta friends to point me to a happy chill album, which got me Beck’s Morning Phase (better known as the album that made Kanye storm onstage). No exaggeration: I’ve listened to it every weekend morning for the past several years, which puts me in something like the top .001% of Beck fans, according to my Spotify Wrapped. I’m a loser, baby, but I’m a VIP loser. Okay?
Aside from Beck, I’ve had very little new music enter my life lately. I’m always preaching the importance of input, and here I sit, ear holes musty.
But here’s the thing: I don’t feel like finding it myself. I also don’t want to ask friends and get a million recommendations—people mean well, but they wanna be cool. I’m perfectly happy here in the mainstream.
Then I came across the perfect solution.
I cannot for the life of me track down where—I hate not giving proper due, so if you too saw this, please call me out. I will free up both of my hands to type out an apology! The writer mentioned her quest to listen to Rolling Stone’s “The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time,” and I thought: Eureka! That’s what I’ll do.
For now, I’ve shortened the scope to the top 200. I google a random number, listen to the entire album, and keep track of them all in a special little notebook.
Some, I already know by heart—Legend (#48), Led Zeppelin IV (#58), The Immaculate Collection (#138). Some I dread, but make myself listen to anyway. I generally try not to shit on other creatives, but this guy can handle it: Neil Young (#90), I simply do not get you.
For the most part, I’m discovering all kinds of vibes that had previously gone unmined.
Some are artists I like, but for some reason, had never listened to a full album—Talking Heads (#39), PJ Harvey (#153), Mary J. Blige (#126). Others, I already listen to and love—The Cure (#116), Outkast (#49)—but had gotten so lazy with their big hits, I’d missed the lesser-knowns.
One artist downright floored me: Sade. I loved her big songs when they came out, but I was ten years old. A little young to fully appreciate the sultriness of Diamond Life (#200). But now? Look out. Cuz I’m of full seducing age, baby!
There are newer artists I’ve loved getting to know better, too. I couldn’t wait to text my 21 y.o. son when Blonde (#79) and DAMN! (#175) came up, two albums he’s loved and talked about for years.
Big surprise, the influx of new input is also helping me creatively.
It’s reminded me that new isn’t always best. And that sometimes, it’s okay to hand over the finding duties to someone else. I’m a creep, I’m a loser, but mostly, I’m just a mainstream girl who loves a best-of list.
For now, I’m having a blast with this quest and hopefully, will need to open it up to #300–500 very soon. I’m comin’ for ya, Jock Jams, Volume 1!
📥 Input! 📥
• I told myself, “this is going to be weird and I might hate it” and guess what I FREAKING LOVED IT
• Also in the unhinged category, I dug both this memoir and this special
• Thinking a lot about getting quieter
• Other than the absence of Ben and Noel, this is a perfect show
• Dug this easy-to-watch movie, featuring one of the leads from a trashy fave
• Still can’t get into audiobooks but finally liked and finished one
• Logged my first five-star book for the year
• A playlist that might finally unseat Alanis
• This guy’s delightful
• How to be a British cop, a voodoo plea, and what might be the best pun ever
• Finally, for the next time my husband Paul tells me he won the 1990 Minnesota state high school indoor hurdles:
Always appreciate sensory recommendations. Thank you. This gets you out of the trouble you're in for alerting me that I am Kevin-less my whole life long.
That's #18!! https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/movies/features/afi100list.htm As for me, I'll be watching Bluey for the foreseeable future. Enjoy!