My friend Kevin has passed along more wisdom to me than probably anyone else in my life. “People are complicated,” he says, every time I get all wound up about someone.
He changed my life, though, with just four simple words:
“I’m not for everyone.”
It blew my mind when I first heard him say it years ago. More than just the words, it was in the way he shrugged when he said it, too. He was perfectly, 100% fine with it.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I would cling to those four words years later, as I began this mapless journey of writing for myself.
Being for everyone is a concept that for most of us, starts early. We’re taught to go with the flow. Be agreeable no matter what. And sure, it’s important to be polite and live among others peacefully. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work just as hard at being for you—and whatever small but supportive gang is down with that.
It’s enough to make me want to start attending births, just so I can tell every newborn “You’re not for everyone!” as they slide out.
Writing for Hallmark, and before that, as a copywriter, the goal was always to appeal to as many people as possible. I’ve been slowly deprogramming myself out of that mindset for four years now. It’s a real reckoning: what do I want to write, even if it only resonates with a small group of similar weirdos?
Now, I know: I’m not for everyone. At least, not if I succeed.
Is there anyone—or anything—on this earth liked by every single person? Beyonce, maybe? Tacos? Puppies? Daniel Craig coming out of water?
It’s just not possible to be 100% universally accepted, and if you try to create that way, you’ll die a slow and very uninspired death.
Not too long ago, I heard it put even more directly on Creative Pep Talk:
“Leave people out.”
Whoa. Not only are you not for everyone, but you should purposely leave people out. How good will that feel?
I’ll tell you myself, once I finish my script “The Fast & the Furriest,” starring Daniel Craig and a gang of street-racing puppies. (Beyonce and I play rival love interests. I win.)